Updated March 05, 2020
Medically Reviewed By: Karen Devlin, LPC
It can be worrying when your sex life doesn’t seem to be as good as it used to be. People do get distracted as they get older and they have more responsibilities. You might be a parent, and the kids could be taking up a lot of your time. It’s also possible that you simply work a lot and you don’t always have the energy to put effort into making sex fun. Whatever your situation is, it’s going to be important to try to fix things. You don’t want your sex life to become boring because you will run the risk of hurting your relationship with your partner.
You likely understand how important it is to have a good sexual connection with your partner. Wanting to have a good sex life and knowing how to make it happen are two different things. Thankfully, there are some fun ideas to spice up the bedroom that you can make use of. These sex ideas could lead to better and more fulfilling sex life. Take a look at these ten fun sex ideas that might improve your situation drastically. Whether you want to use all of them or if you want to try out a few, they will surely help you out.
1. Try Out New Sex Positions
If your sex life has become a bit stagnant, it might be due to you having sex, in the same way, all the time. Many couples get stuck in a rut of doing the same thing too often. Perhaps you are constantly having sex from the missionary position, and you don’t ever mix it up. This makes things predictable, and it can lead to feelings of apathy from both of you. This is why trying out new sex positions can be such an effective tool for spicing things up.
Simply changing your sexual positions might be enough to get you interested and engaged in having sex with your partner again. Sex feels different when you’re in these altered positions. Some positions can feel more empowering for your lover, and you might find those specific ones will increase your arousal. Play around with different sexual positions to see which ones you enjoy the most. There are many different ones to try out and getting to know how all of them work could be enough to make you feel like your sex woes have been solved.
2. Give Your Partner A Sensual Massage
Your sex life might need a bit more sensuality. Do you take the time to explore your partner’s body very often? If not, then you might want to take the time to give them a sensual massage. A massage can be a good way to get your partner in the mood. A sensual massage can also include elements of foreplay. You might start out massaging your partner in a typical way, but it could lead to massaging certain erogenous zones. Many couples use sexy massages as a way to spice things up, so this is a suggestion that you’ll want to give a try.
3. Read Erotic Stories Together
Some people get turned on by reading stories and thinking about sex acts. Words can be very powerful, and stories have the potential to impact you in a major way. You might find that reading an erotica story will act as a sort of sexual trigger. This could help to turn you on enough to make sex more interesting than usual. Reading an erotic story together while you’re talking, cuddling, and kissing could lead to an interesting night of sex. It’s also a safe way to explore your fantasies when you haven’t dared to go for it yet.
4. Watch An Erotic Movie Together
Similarly to reading erotic stories together, watching an erotic movie with your lover can be a good aphrodisiac. Some couples won’t be as into watching pornographic movies together as others, but this could be a good way to turn yourself on. Seeing other people performing sex acts can be very stimulating, and it might even give you ideas. You could watch an erotic movie and then turn around to try to copy what you saw. For some couples, this will be a great way to promote a healthy sex life. Just remember that replicating some sex acts won’t be easy depending on physical limitations such as flexibility and core strength. No matter what, it’s going to be an erotic experience, and you can use it to lead into your sexual fun.
5. Consider Having Sex Somewhere New
Spicing things up in the bedroom might be helped by taking things outside of the bedroom. You might be bored with where you are having sex. Traditional sex on your mattress might feel old hat to you by now. You could use something more interesting that will keep you engaged and exciting by the sexual activity. Some couples have had a good time simply making love on the couch instead, but you could take things further than that. Sex in the shower could be a good idea if you have enough room. You might even be bold enough to think about having sex outdoors, although you should be careful not to get yourself in trouble by breaking any laws.
Even booking a hotel room for an evening could be a fun way to enhance your sexual experience. You could take a nice bath together in a hotel jetted tub to set the mood. Having sex in a new place feels more exciting than doing it in your bedroom. It shakes things up, and that might be enough to make you feel better about things. Doing this once in a while can keep you enticed, so it’s worth looking into if you think complacency and being stuck in a routine might be the problem.
6. Talk About Your Fantasies
Everyone has fantasies that they would like to explore. Sexual fantasies often remain stuck in people’s minds due to many being too embarrassed to follow through. You can’t be truly sexually satisfied if you’re unwilling to discuss things with your partner, though. If you talk about your fantasies and explore certain ideas, then you might be able to make some of them happen. You could even find out that some of your sexual ideas turn your partner on, and this could lead to a more fulfilling sexual relationship.
Fantasies are so varied that it would be impossible to list all of the possibilities here. Some might have fantasies about being dominant over a lover or submissive to a lover. Others might have specific fantasies about certain situations. Exploring these ideas can lead to different possibilities, and you should try to keep an open mind when your partner mentions what turns them on. Even if you don’t like your partner’s fantasy, it’s good to be supportive. You don’t have to do things that you don’t want to do, but you don’t want to make your partner feel strange or unusual either. Explore these ideas and see which ones you might be interested in trying out.
7. Role-playing And Dirty Talk
As mentioned above, fantasies can be very sexually satisfying. Getting to live out your fantasies can help you to feel more fulfilled sexually. One way to explore people’s fantasies is to role-play. Role-playing can allow you to experience acts safely. For example, your partner could have a fantasy about sleeping with a teacher that has always turned him or her on. This is a scenario that you could play out in a fictional way if you are both comfortable with it. This is just a simple and standard scenario, but the things that you want to role-play will be up to you.
It’s also worth mentioning that many couples get turned on by incorporating “dirty talk” into their relationship dynamic. Certain phrases or words coming from your partner’s mouth could be enough to send you over the edge. Not everyone feels comfortable talking this way, but it can enhance sex if you know how to do it right. It’s something that you could play around with if you want to.
8. Tying Each Other Up
Now that you have started to open up to new sexual ideas, it might be worth considering a little light bondage. Many people get turned on by the idea of tying up their lover or being tied up. These sort of sexual control situations can be very tantalizing, but you have to be certain that your partner is into the idea before moving forward. It is never okay to try to force your romantic partner into a situation that they are not comfortable with. Even if you are trying to explore a type of D/s (dominant and submissive) role in the bedroom for your relationship, your partner should be able to put a stop to things at any time.
That being said, tying each other up and enjoy that type of sex can be very erotic. You might find that your partner will get turned on by letting control. It’s also possible that you might be the one who likes letting your partner take charge. Simply be sure to set up boundaries before getting into this type of activity. You should be clear about what types of sex acts are appropriate when you’re in a vulnerable position. It’s also smart to develop a type of safe word system so that your partner will know when he or she needs to stop. Many couples have found this type of sex to be invigorating, but it’s still smart to take everything into account before moving forward.
9. Sex Toys
Even sex toys can help to spice things up in the bedroom if you are interested in them. Not everyone is going to be interested in using sex toys in the bedroom, but you might find that they will be perfect for your relationship whether you want to have the toys used on you or if you find the idea of using toys on your partner to be exciting. There are many different types of sex toys on the market, and not all of them are catered to women. Talk with your partner about this idea and see if it excites them before moving forward.
10. Dressing Up
Lastly, you should know that dressing up in a sexy outfit is a perfect way to turn on your partner. You might find that your partner will get excited when he or she sees you in a sexy little number. Dressing up for your partner could mean many different things, though. You could wear special lingerie or some other type of garment that is seen as tantalizing. People often dress up in specific types of clothes to cater to a fetish as well. You might get turned on by seeing your partner wear a leather outfit or you could like seeing your partner dressed up as a school teacher.
Dressing up can go hand-in-hand with the role-playing idea that was mentioned earlier. If you are interested and willing to explore that idea, then dressing up can make it more authentic. When you dress up in something sexy for your partner, it shows them that you are putting the effort in. Your significant other will be very turned on by seeing you in your outfit, and it should lead to great sex. Busting out these sexy outfits now and again can keep things feeling fresh and exciting in the bedroom. You shouldn’t be afraid to buy new ones to mix things up once in a while.
Online Couples Counseling is Always an Option
If the fun ideas to spice up the bedroom don’t seem to be enough, then you might want to reach out to get help. It can be embarrassing to talk about your sex life, but it’s going to feel as natural as possible when you reach out to skilled online couples counselors. These professionals work with couples like you to help them overcome relationship problems. You might have some sexual hang-ups that need to be addressed, or you might need to focus on improving communication in your relationship. Either way, these online counselors will be there to assist you.
Getting the help of an online couples’ counselor is very easy, and it has been designed to be as convenient for you as possible. You can reach out at any time that you think you need help. There is no need to worry about office hours, and you won’t even have to leave your home. You can talk with these professionals as a couple, and they can also help work on individual issues that you might be experiencing. They will become your allies, and your relationship will become stronger than ever as you continue to make progress.